Occasionally we hear disturb­ing stories in the media about young people who perpetrate abuse against the elderly. In a widely re­ported 2009 story, for example, caretakers at the Quadrangle As­sisted Living facility outside Phila­delphia were charged in connection with the abuse of an elderly patient named Lois McCallister. Three em­ployees, aged 19, 21 and 22 were caught on a surveillance camera as they taunted, mocked and assaulted the partially naked 78 year old woman. 

She had begun complaining to visiting family members several months prior that someone was hurting her and hitting her. There were also initial signs of bruising on her hand and wrist. After bringing the bruises to the attention of the nursing home’s administrators, the family was informed that the allega­tions were unfounded, and were told the accusations were simply the result of the patient’s advancing dementia. Family members sus­pected there was more to it, and clandestinely installed the video camera, hidden in a clock in the victim’s room.

After capturing the assailants on tape, they concluded that the abuse suffered by their mother had been ongoing for some time. One of the young women charged in the case told investigators she was working on another floor the night the clock/camera captured the scene in the elderly woman’s room. A family member later told news reporters, “They called the third girl down from another floor and said, ‘Come down, we’re going to start.” 

As a consequence of the abuse, the Department of Public Welfare eventually revoked the license for the facility, and the family filed a civil lawsuit against the parent company.

A tragic event like this leads to intense questioning about how these young people, charged with the special care of the older gen­eration, could end up becoming so callous, inhuman, and brutal. What can be done to prevent this kind of “inter-generational dis­connect” from occurring in the future? And what can be done to build up unity and respect be­tween generations?

A nearly universal point of reference over the years, and a counsel of incalculable worth, has been the injunction enshrined in the Decalogue: Honor your father and mother. A decision to abide by this commandment invariably serves to strengthen the concern of children for their parents and elders, and helps forge a bond between the generations. The Book of Sirach offers similarly sage advice: 

 “My son, take care of your fa­ther when he is old; grieve him not as long as he lives. Even if his mind fail, be considerate of him; revile him not all the days of his life; kindness to a father will not be forgotten, firmly planted against the debt of your sins…”

In a sense, it is precisely the weakness and vulnerability of the elderly that beckons us to manifest a greater respect towards them, and never to mistreat them in the strength of youth. As Pope John Paul II beau­tifully summed it up in his 1999 Letter to the Elderly: 

“…the signs of human frailty which are clearly connected with advanced age become a sum­mons to the mutual dependence and indispensable solidarity which link the different genera­tions…” 

Compassionately attending to the needs of the elderly draws generations together and builds solidar­ity.

When the unique gifts of the elderly are invested and shared with the younger generation, this, too, builds up solidarity. Elderly people help us see human affairs with a sense of perspective tempered by experience, reflection and wisdom. Whenever grandparents contribute to the raising and formation of the grandchildren, even by doing some­thing as simple as teaching them how to pray and think about God, they strengthen inter-generational ties, and build family unity.

We can foster intergenerational care and support within our families and communities in other simple ways as well, for example, through conscientious parenting, including small but important steps such as insisting on meal time together as a family (which builds up mutual re­spect and concern for others in the family); teaching compassion by vis­iting sick or elderly neighbors to­gether; teaching children to welcome all human life, even when weak or handicapped; praying together as a family; decreasing media time and guarding against violent computer/ video games, pornography and other practices that dehumanize peo­ple and make them seem like objects to be manipulated.

As we seek to build relational bridges across generations, and work to construct a society that esteems its elders, we simultaneously build up homes and communities that are lib­erated of the threat of abuse or ne­glect — places of safety, mutual sup­port and love, even as the hairs on our head turn gray and our strength wanes.

Copyright © 2020, The National Catholic Bioethics Center, Philadelphia, PA. All rights reserved.