On December 2, 2022, Pope Francis spoke to the Forum of Family Associations, an Italian advocacy group that promotes the family as an important social subject, on the topic of the family and public policy. The Pope lauds the forum for “stimulat[ing] good policy for families and with families” rather than advocating an ideology. Although given to an Italian organization, the Pope’s message resonates for anyone concerned about the family as a social subject.

Francis begins his speech by recognizing the joy of being a family. Evoking Amoris laetitia, he explains that family life includes “happy moments and painful ones, of more serene periods and more difficult, at times hard ones.” He is wise to begin with this affirmation of the family. Some conservative views present the family in an unrealistic fashion as void of pain. An immediate example is the nuclear family of 1950s America. Thankfully, the Pope avoids this problem by situating the lived experience of family life firmly in reality: “I am not talking about an ideal family, about a standard model to apply in order to be happy,” he clarifies. Trying to live such an ideal is inimical to joy and certainly masks the decay of family life.

From the beginning of his speech, Francis clearly explains that any robust family policy requires honest and open dialogue between families and the institutions responsible for setting up family policy. Dialogue, he points out, always aims toward the common good. For this reason, dialogue cannot shy away from the challenges and pains of living in a family. Only by a method of dialogue can we acknowledge the pain to accompany those living through the pain. As Jesus Christ teaches us by his life, death, and Resurrection, then, it is precisely by accompaniment in suffering that we find company with each other in joy.

Born from joy by its faith, then, the Christian family stands in a unique position to aid all families and achieve the common good. However, Francis warns that Christian families risk closing in on themselves. This temptation must be avoided. We do well to remember that the joy of the family cannot be insular. Moreover, the danger of becoming insular often goes hand in hand with a misplaced feeling of superiority. Francis explains that good family policy aids all families to encounter and support one another: “The family is called to be a motor of fraternity and social friendship, rooted in a territory and at the same time open to the world.”

An essential aspect of this openness is the recognition of the goodness of children. The modern problem of low birth rates signifies a grave situation indeed for the health of society. Various policies encouraging abortion, for example, mask financial and social burdens facing families, such as the immense childcare disparities in the United States. In effect, they penalize the family for expanding rather than offer needed help (see Ryan T. Anderson and Alexandra DeSanctis, Tearing Us Apart: How Abortion Harms Everything and Solves Nothing [Washington, DC: Regnery Publishing, 2022]). Contrary to policies that penalize families for expanding, any robust family policy affirms the goodness of children. Francis boldly exclaims that “we need children,” and he is correct precisely because children incarnate the common good.

Our attitudes toward children indicate our attitudes toward one another more generally. The ability to nurture and care for the human being as a person—whether one family for another or one person for another—begins with the encounter with the child. This encounter is the gathering point for all of human society, a point well made in Amoris laetitia, where the Pope aptly describes children as “living stones” of the family (n. 14). Naturally, then, Francis bemoans the “severe, very severe demographic winter” looming over Italy. This problem tragically extends beyond Italy’s borders, affecting much of the Western world. Its shadow has even been cast upon the United States.

Wisely, however, the Pope admonishes us to go beyond simply denouncing the problem. All who seek to inform social policy for the family must imitate the Forum of Family Associations, whose actions focus on practical support through dialogue with policy makers. Francis lauds the organization for thoughtful critique and policy proposals “offering expert advice beyond party lines.” Importantly, the advice is centered around the goodness of children, which is why the Pope reminds us to “waste time” with our children. Time can never truly be wasted with children, since all hours spent with them guide them to healthy development in body and mind. We should all aspire to play with our children—to build them up and support them as they grow—so that they may in turn help their own children to develop. This is how human society lives and thrives. Policies that aid families to “waste time” in play actually benefit future generations.

Tragically, because of complex cultural and social factors, much of the world finds itself in a demographic winter. Young people continue to push back having children to older ages or, in some cases, replace children with pets. Francis offers a poignant anecdote to conclude his speech: “My secretary told me that the other day, passing through Saint Peter’s Square, he saw a lady with a pram, and he wanted to look at the child, and there was a little dog inside!” The replacement of children by pets is emblematic of the decay of family life and evidence for the lack of support for families. That is why the Pope says emphatically that “we need children.”

Colten Maertens-Pizzo works for the Archdiocese of Chicago Catholic School System.